HOW TO IMPROVE THE ART OF CONVERSATION

The main goal of a gentleman is to perform admirably in social situations. He distinguishes himself through conversation, and his glory is displayed in the drawing room.

Even though no one is "free" in a company, everyone is "equal." Therefore, everyone you meet deserves to be treated with respect, even though different levels of attention may be required depending on each person's interests. Rejecting any of the invitee's guests is an act of disrespect. You should give your approval by introducing yourself to those she honored by inviting to her home.

If you come across someone you have never heard of before, you are free to speak to him politely. A mutual friend's declaration that two gentlemen are suitable acquaintances for one another based on rank and manners serves as the only formal "introduction." The fact that they meet at a respectable house suggests all of this. This is the prevailing theory. However, tradition dictates that you should seize the first available opportunity after being regularly presented with one of these.

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Conversation is the best business in a group setting. It ought to be examined as art. Style in conversation can be developed and is just as significant as style in writing. Things have value because of how they are expressed.

Constant and unwavering attention is the most crucial requirement for success in this situation. Being "always attentive to the business of the scene" is what Churchill described as the greatest virtue on the stage and is also the most essential quality for a group. Like your person, your understanding should be prepared at all times. Never enter society with your mind in a state of disarray. Success is fatally harmed by complete absence or disarray. It's been said that the key to conversation is to expand on your conversation partner's point. Strongest-minded men with solitary tendencies and bookish personalities rarely perform well in lively conversation because they focus on the subject abstractly rather than paying attention to other speakers' language and don't practice verbal etiquette. If they act differently, they become known for being quick and gain favor by demonstrating that they have taken into account others' observations.

The assumption that conversation only involves talking is false. The importance of listening quietly is greater. According to Mirabeau, in order to succeed in life, you must be willing to learn many things that you already know from people who are ignorant of them. The best way to succeed is to be flattering, and the most elegant and satisfying compliment you can give is to listen. "According to La Bruyère, "the wit of conversation consists more in finding it in others than in showing a lot of yourself: he who leaves your conversation pleased with himself and his own wit, is perfectly well pleased with you. Most men would rather be pleased with you than to admire you, and they are less interested in being educated, nay, delighted, than in being praised and affirmed. To please another is the most delicate pleasure."

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It is definitely appropriate to persuade others of your virtues. The best example of your own penetration, however, is to show him how much you admire his.

Being tolerant is a social engine. The three requisites of fortune are to listen, wait, and grow weary.

If a foreign guest is present at a dinner party or small evening gathering and does not speak the language being used, good manners demand that the conversation be held entirely in his language. Never address anyone in a language that none of the others can understand, not even your closest friends. As detrimental as whispering, it.

Never talk to anyone in a group about a private matter that they don't understand, such as asking how the matter is going, etc. By doing this, you are expressing your belief that the others are excessive. If the subject allows it, always explain the business you are enquiring about to others if you wish to make any such inquiries.

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If you carry on a conversation that was started before a visitor enters, you should always explain the topic to the visitor.

Be cautious when letting out any epigrams or cute little sarcasms if there is anyone in the group that you do not know. To a man whose father had been hanged, you might come across as very witty on halters. To have a fruitful conversation, you must first thoroughly understand your company.

A second rule of a similar nature is to refrain from talking too much when you do speak. If you make someone laugh while wounding him in the nicest way possible—his self-love—you do not elevate yourself very much in their eyes. A constant stream of wit exhausts the listeners excessively in addition to grating vanity. A humorous man makes for a pleasant acquaintance but a tedious friend. "The meanest person in the company, according to Mrs. Montagu, is the wit of the company, second only to the butt of the company. When conversing, it's important to follow convention, just like when playing whist. For example, if the oldest hand plays the ace of diamonds, the next neighbor shouldn't insult the king of hearts because his hand is loaded with honors. I don't enjoy watching a witty man pull off every conversational ruse."

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Always look at the person you are speaking to. If there are several people there, it will make them feel more welcome if you speak to each one in turn, giving them each a different story or statement.

Knowledge of the most recent historical events as well as the current news is essential for conversation. Being so far behind the rest of the world in these areas is not practical.

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HOW TO IMPROVE THE ART OF CONVERSATION